Recently, I had a conflict with my partner. Both had raised voices, said things that were insulting, and we left the interaction feeling hurt. After reflecting, meditating, and journalling with virtues of humility and introversion, I could see the repeated mistake this soul was making—Desire.
I had expectations of him to behave a certain way, a way that would benefit me. This desire was giving him sorrow. I had expectations that he did not fulfill, and I would then be disappointed. This feeling was then conveyed through my feelings, words and actions.
This cycle of wanting and not getting and giving sorrow was a pattern that was deeply created. I had not even expressed these expectations to him because I had hidden it from myself as well. When the truth surfaced, it was humbling. This learning allowed me to see more clearly. I had been vibrating this desire for years. I was often frustrated, and he would feel like he was not good enough.
So now I am practicing asking, checking, what he needs or wants to do, or how he wants to do it. I am practicing listening with respect and without motive. Since it is a deep pattern, I have to keep it in the forefront of my efforts.
To love is to see others as they are and not how we wish to see them. This goes for our parents, our children, our partner, our siblings, our friends, etc. We are here to discover our true selves and for self-transformation.