It has a few months since I have written.

 I was stuck.

Tired. Confused. Frustrated. Body was tight, really tight. I was holding onto something. My hands sore in the morning from clenching.

What was I holding onto? Even after many osteopathic and massage appointments many parts of the body were still stuck. My hormones became imbalanced, energy trapped, meals not being digested well and a continuous string of restless nights. I kept hearing the same message repeatedly, “you are stuck”. I know that they meant in a physical way however I needed to dig deeper…

Where was I feeling stuck in my life emotionally?

Once I asked myself this question, a gateway flew open to the last few months. I was in a situation that I did not want to be in. I felt stuck physically in my living space and situation. I wanted out but felt I could not leave, move on. I was not happy to stay, paralyzed to step out. I was stuck. Feeling restricted. These feelings ran deep inside and were playing havoc in my body and my heart.

I am realizing that it takes courage to take the next step. 

Whether I decide to stay or go, it takes honesty, faith and courage. If I stay then I need courage to accept, be patient, and appreciate. If I decide to go then I need courage to have faith in my journey and trust it will be good for me.

Whatever I do I need to be loving to myself. 

Right now, the only decision I can make is to decide to be present at this moment…

that means no fear, no sorrow, only transformation. 

I need to let go of expectations and getting disappointed. Whether I walk through the door or not, I can choose to be my best me. I can choose to flow, like calm waters or a rushing river.